Tag Archives: Positive Psychology

Blindspots

Have you ever noticed how curious it is that you can see right through a friend’s problem that they can’t seem to see at all?  You have the same conversation with them over and over and they never seem to be able to figure out what to you seems obvious.  And your inner dialog might sound something like “Of course you two broke up.  You had completely different goals. Quite frankly, I’m surprised you are surprised.”  Or maybe your partner gets upset over the same issue repeatedly and doesn’t seem to recognize that they are getting all ‘worked up’ over nothing and that its possible to see the problem coming from a mile away….at least in your view.  There are numerous more examples of these types of situations.  I refer to these types of patterns as our blindspots.  Continue reading

How to Disarm a Hijacker

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Have you ever been the victim of an emotional hijacking?  If you are human, then most likely you have been emotionally hijacked ATLEAST 100 times (this is based on the minimum number of tantrums that I estimate the average child will have between the ages of 18 months and 4 years*).  But if you are like most people, then you’ve been hijacked in your adolescent, teen and adult life as well.  In other words, emotional overloads didn’t stop when you turned five.

Emotional hijacking often occurs when we suddenly move from a calm and rational state into one of more intense emotions, irrational thinking, and possibly even impulsive behavior if we aren’t careful.  The degree of severity of the hijacking and the amount of the ransom needed to ‘fix it’ depends on how charged you become over the experience. Continue reading

I took a breath…now what

After you’ve had the wisdom and clarity to take a few breaths with some attention to the process and to your body, you should be feeling a little more grounded and ‘in the moment’.  If not, try to  remain relaxed and trust that you are o.k.  As I tell me clients, no one has spontaneously combusted or evaporated from a rapid breath or feelings of agitation.  Yes, it is uncomfortable.  But it is not fatal.  So stay with the process until you feel your body and mind following your lead and coming into the present…continue to follow your breath.

Now you notice that your body is settling down and feeling more at ease.  Once there, begin Continue reading